Prank Wars
by garrulousghost18
Summary: "How does he always seem to know what we're up to?" A story about the ongoing prank war between Headmaster Albus Dumbledore vs the Weasley Twins and how they encountered the infamous Marauder's Map. Set in the Twins' 3rd year.
1. Chapter 1

Summary:

"How does he always seem to know what we're up to?" A story about the ongoing prank war between Headmaster Albus Dumbledore vs the Weasley Twins and how they encountered the infamous Marauder's Map. Set in the Twins' 3rd year.

Story:

"Brilliant, Absolutely brilliant."

"No no, that won't do..."

"Aha! That's the ticket!"

Often times phrases such as these could be heard from the back of the Gryffindor common room. Students long ago stopped asking the Weasley twins what they were up to. Sometimes it was better to just wait and see.

Nevertheless, it was common knowledge that the twins had an ongoing prank war with Headmaster Dumbledore. Somehow the man was always one step ahead of them. Of course, it didn't hurt to be the most intelligent wizard of the time.

For weeks, prank after prank backfired and blew right up in the twins' faces- literally. Just this afternoon the headmaster recruited Seamus Finnigan to tamper with the Weasley's newest invention. Mysteriously, in the middle of creating a de-aging potion to use on Dumbledore, the contents exploded into George's face and all over the common room walls. To say Professor McGonagall wasn't happy would be an understatement.

"But Professor, couldn't you just clean it up with a quick spell?" pleaded Fred.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I could , but where's the fun in that?" McGonagall replied with a malicious smirk. "Here's a rag, hopefully next time you and your brother will use your brains for something useful."

With that she left, leaving the poor boys to scrub well into the night much to the joy of the old man.

However, if anyone knew the Weasley twins, they would realize that at this point-Dumbledore should watch his back. Sooner or later they were going to get him... they were going to get him good.

~.~

~.~


	2. Chapter 2

"I just don't get it George. I really thought that we would get him this time!" Fred said with frustration.

It was Wednesday afternoon and the twins were walking by the lake. Although it was mid spring, it didn't quite look like it. The flowers were blooming late and the looks on the boys' faces were much gloomier than the clouds overhead.

They stopped walking, for they had made it to the lake. George looked down at his reflection and could see the stains from the potion on his face even though the incident happened a few days ago.

Finally a thought occurred to George, "Fred, we've never had a potion explode on us before. I'm not proud to admit it, but we've made a de-aging potion more times than the fingers on our hands... and toes on our feet."

"What're you trying to say?" replied Fred. "Are you suggesting someone tampered with it?"

"I think….it was Finnegan, he's probably been helping Dumbledore."

George, being the more observant one, had noted a thing or two about Seamus in the past few weeks.. Everyday, around 8:00, he would sit on the opposite side of the common room as the twins, seemingly talking to other people. Then he would leave after about a half hour to go….somewhere. Which was rather odd because curfew was earlier for first years.

While Fred would go on about different ideas they should implement against Dumbledore, George would sometimes catch the younger boy staring at their corner. Once he was caught staring, he would quickly look away.

For a while George thought nothing of it, until a few days ago when the potion mysteriously exploded after they had left it unattended for a few minutes.

"Don't you see Fred? This has Finnegan written ALL over it! He's the king of "pyrotechnics", as McGonagall would say, and we've never blown up a potion EVER."

Fred seemed to consider this for a moment, then turned back to George.

"I've got a plan. Let's continue doing the same thing as usual tonight, and wait until Finnegan leaves the common room. We'll follow him and see where he goes." George nodded his head in agreement.

~.~

At exactly 8, Seamus strolled into the common room with nonchalance.

"UGH I could tackle the bloody traitor right this second," Fred whispered.

"SHH," said George. "Alright, just pretend to be whispering stuff."

For the next half hour the twins were strategically trying to look suspicious, all while not looking _too_ suspicious, and also attempting to watch Seamus without him noticing.

Finally Seamus got up and walked out of the portrait hole. What he didn't realize was that there were two people following him.

"Look at him, we've been through this hall 3 times already!" said Fred impatiently.

Finally after 10 minutes of aimless wandering, Seamus's route seemed to take on some purpose.

"I think I know where he is headed," George told Fred.

"Dumbledore," Fred said with a look of triumph on his face.

Just as they'd thought, they approached the gargoyle corridor on the third floor. They observed silently as Finnegan whispered nonsensensical words and the stone shifted out of his way to reveal a spiral staircase.

Just as Fred was about to follow, George yanked him back.

"Are you mad? We'd get caught if we followed Seamus so close to Dumbledore."

Settling down for a wait, the boys began a game of tic-tac-toe by carving the symbols with a rock on the stone floor.

"Oooooooo…..what mischief are the Weasels up to today? Shall Peevsey ruin their fun?" said a floating creature that resembled a tiny man.

"Oh come on Peeves! We've told you about a thousand times that we should join forces. Besides, we're trying to play a prank on Dumbledore, you wouldn't screw that up for us would you?" pleaded Fred with puppy dog eyes.

Cackling, Peeves floated away.

Brushing his bushy hair to the side, George exhaled slightly. Peeves could be such a nuisance. Of course, he and his brother were just like human versions of Peeves-but still. He couldn't believe that his other half wanted to make a friendship with that maniac. However, a camaraderie with Peeves could be beneficial to their plans…... George made a mental note to consider the matter.

Finally, the stones shifted once again. The twins hid in the shadow behind a suit of armor. Luckily Seamus was alone.

The boys nodded at each other and started following him again. Half way down a deserted corridor, where they made sure no one was around, they tapped his shoulder. Instantly the younger boy turned and froze.

"Hello Finnegan," said George. The torch lights gave his face an eerie glow.

Seamus turned to run just when Fred grabbed ahold of his upper arms.

"Don't look so scared, you knew we would find out about you and Dumbledore eventually. However, we aren't here for revenge," Fred laughed maniacally. "No- we're here to give you... a sort of peace offering."

Fred cautiously took his hands off of the boy and stepped back.

"You have two options," George added. "You either forget this little encounter ever happened, but watch your back for the rest of the semester. Or... you could help us out with a little something."

Either the little first year was eager to please, or he was terrified to death. "I'd rather help you!" he said in a rush.

The boys smirked at each other. "Okay Finnegan, tell us what you know," the twins said in unison.

The first year sighed. "Well…. Al- Alright. Dumbledore re-recruited me to spy on you, but I guess you already figured that one out." He attempted a half smile but got death glares in return. Hurriedly he continued "That's not everything though. When I'm in his office it's either reporting to him what you guys are up to, or getting assigned tasks like following you or tampering with your potions like the other day."

"Is that everything?" prompted George.

"Er...no," Seamus said with hesitancy. "There is this one thing…"

"SPIT. IT. OUT!" yelled Fred.

"Easy brother," George soothed. "Seamus, you've got to tell us."

"If I tell you this, you'll stay off my back won't you?" the boy pleaded.

"Listen here you little bugger," Fred began, "You got yourself into this mess, and you are going to get yourself out of it by helping us until we say you can stop!"

"Okay okay! Sorry!", Seamus yelped. "It's just that whenever I'm reporting to Dumbledore, he always seems to know what you two are doing before I even get there to tell him what I know."

"What? How?"

"Good question. I inquired about it myself one night- asked him how he knew so much about everything." Seamus paused, probably to consider whether or not 'watching his back' was worth taking a chance. Finally he relented. "Without even saying anything, the old man pulled out this really ancient piece of parchment and gave it to me."

"Well, what was it?" Fred practically shouted.

"I sort of just glanced up at him like he was crazy and was about to ask him what I was supposed to do with a bit of old parchment. However, before I could say anything, Dumbledore tapped the parchment and I believe he said 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'. Then _words_ started appearing on the paper!" The first year took a moment to revel in the memory. The twins shared dubious looks. "It was bloody brilliant! I believe it called itself the Marauder's Map. A whole map of Hogwarts! And it shows _everyone_!"

He finished as though that answered all the twins' questions. They stared at him blankly.

"What do you mean it shows everyone?" questioned George.

"That's what I mean. It's a map of Hogwarts, it shows _everything_. Every single passageway, corridor, and secret tunnels that none of the students know about. And it displays where everyone is at every time of day!" Seamus explained. "That's how Dumbledore knows what you two are up to! He can see where you are all the time!"

Dumbstruck, the twins thought quickly. Dumbledore had a map of Hogwarts, that he could access whenever he wanted, that showed exactly where everyone was….. The twins knew the old man was a cheat, but not _this much_ of a cheat. It was magnificent. A weakness.

"But he can't see what we're doing can he?" Fred asked.

"No he can't, that's why he has me. Whenever he sees you guys located somewhere like Snape's private stores, he knows you are up to something and calls for me to report on you. The man doesn't know everything, but he has a good intuition about your mischief based off of the map." Seamus answered.

Silence fell upon the corridor. All the boys were deep in thought. Eventually George broke the silence. "We need to get that map."

The three boys shared evil smirks.

~.~

~.~


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Note:** Hey everyone! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far :D. I'm going to post a new chapter every few days. This won't be a very long story but I plan on posting about 15 chapters.

"Alright Seamus, do you want to go over the plan?" the twins asked.

It was almost 8:00, the common room was filled with students chattering since it was too close to curfew to be outside, but _way_ too early to go to sleep.

"I'm not stupid, the plan is fairly easy, it's just _doing_ it that's hard," Seamus pouted. The little first year was still getting used to the fact that he was not on the safe side anymore, he needed to take more risks because he was the pawn in their prank war. Without Finnegan, getting the map would be impossible.

"Look, all you have to do is what you've been doing, tell him what we're up to. Say that you don't know exactly, but you've seen us acting suspicious or something along those lines." George considered the matter, "The only thing you need to do differently is stealing the map…. But you don't need to steal it right away. Take it when you have the opportunity to. If tonight you have an opportunity, then by all means take it. But if not tonight, then we can try again next time."

Finnegan looked relieved. The twins noted that he took on a new posture. Extending himself to full height- 1.6 metre (5ft 2in), the boy stalked off through the portrait hole.

"Bloody hell, how did I not notice that before? I thought it was a stroke of genius that you noticed him acting suspicious, but he's really obvious," Fred told his brother.

Gritting his teeth, George cringed. Seamus better not blow their cover. Dumbledore could probably see right through him in a second. It would take a miracle for that boy to get them the map that night.

~.~

Seamus entered Dumbledore's office to find him swamped with work. If the headmaster hadn't told him to enter, Seamus would have doubted whether Dumbledore knew he was there.

The office was in mayhem. There were papers flying everywhere, paintings in each other's frames, and a ton of owls on the headmaster's desk.

Dumbledore began rifling through a desk drawer until he found a huge fountain pen and for once upon Seamus's entering, smiled a bit.

"Sit down ," Dumbledore addressed him.

"Sir, why do you have a pen?" Seamus questioned.

Distractedly, the man glanced down at his possession and chuckled. Seamus was pretty sure that he was going mad.

"Oh my dear boy, I find these pens not only beautiful but much more efficient in answering my mail," Dumbledore supplied.

The old man turned back to his desk and sighed. Seamus couldn't blame him. There was so much mail. The owls were beginning to fight for the headmaster's attention.

Dumbledore frowned and without glancing back up at Seamus he said "So tell me my boy, what are the Weasley's doing today?"

Seamus was a bit taken aback, usually Dumbledore pestered him with questions about himself. Their meetings usually ended up being about 20 minutes long because Dumbledore would chat with him for a while before getting down to business.

 _He must be really busy_ , Seamus thought. _Where is that bloody map?_

Seamus stood up and started walking around the room. It wasn't unusual, the headmaster would let him stroll around looking at his many artifacts during their meetings.

"Ummm…." Seamus stalled for time, "I haven't seen them doing that much lately…." He paused in his speech to twirl around and check that the old man was still preoccupied.

That's when he saw it. Just behind Dumbledore's desk was a bookshelf. Seamus could see the required piece of parchment from all the way across the room. To get it he would have to be sneaky, and seeing as he didn't have a lot of time, he had to tactfully make his way around the room without drawing too much attention to himself.

"Hmm, that's it? Rather odd don't you think? The boys are almost always doing something," Dumbledore said with slight suspicion.

Seamus's statement had caused Dumbledore to look up at him.

 _Oh no, gotta backtrack now!_ Seamus realized hastily.

"Well, they're not up to _nothing_ per se…." Seamus said while scooting around the room. "It's just that they haven't been brewing." He was almost there, and luckily the headmaster had turned back to his work.

Now was his chance. Seamus plucked the parchment off of the shelf and stuffed it into his robes just in time.

"Well okay, maybe they're just plotting something else then," Dumbledore mumbled distractedly. "Umm you can leave now - Finnigan!"

Seamus quickly and quietly left the office. He turned back around to close the door and noticed that Dumbledore had the most intense of looks upon his face.

 _Yeah, he's going to be busy for a while_ , Seamus grinned.

~.~

The portrait hole opened and Seamus stepped inside. He realized that he must not have been gone very long because of the number of students still in the common room. However he did not catch sight of the twins.

He was giddy with joy and some fifth years began to stare at him oddly.

Not hesitating any longer, he staggered up to them.

"Have any of you seen Fred and George?" Seamus inquired, practically dancing in his spot.

"What? Need them to escort you to the potty, Finnegan?" a rather nasty girl suggested.

Nevertheless Seamus was too excited to let arrogant, self-important, older students bring him down. He no longer felt the need to please anyone, for he now idolized the twins. The adrenaline rush that he experienced tonight was something he wouldn't soon forget, and he decided that he needed to take a leaf out of the twins' book. The professors wouldn't like his newly found role models, but the twins were so much _fun_.

"They're in their room." One of the guys decided to cut him a break.

With a short nod to acknowledge his thanks, Seamus ran up the stairs without hearing the laughter at his expense.

~.~

"GUYS!" Seamus yelled as he burst into the room, "I've got it!"

The twins looked up from their work with disbelieving faces. They shared a look and then bounced off of their respective beds.

"What? Seriously?" Fred shouted into his face.

"How?" George asked more politely.

"Let us see it!" they said together.

Laughing, Seamus extended his hand and held out the parchment to his new idols. They eagerly grasped the prize and directed their wands at it.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," they proclaimed as though they had been doing so their whole life.

To Seamus, familiar lines and pictures appeared on the cover. To the twins, a whole new realm of possibilities had dropped into their hands.

"Bless them, look at this!" squealed Fred. "It's a work of art. Oh Merlin's beard! I see Dumbledore!"

Yanking the parchment out of his hand, George quietly and intensely studied the map. He saw passageways that he hadn't realized existed, names of people he didn't even know, and rooms that were unheard of. The potential of this item was overwhelming and he wouldn't have traded it for one hundred galleons. The things he and his brother could do with this map were so exciting that for the first time in weeks, a huge smile adorned his face and he jumped up and down with Fred.

The three boys spent over an hour talking about the possibilities of what utilizing such an item could be. Should they use it with good intentions? Bad? What pranks could they play with it? The possibilities were endless.

Finally Seamus brought them back to reality. "Seriously though guys, Dumbledore is busy, not oblivious. He's going to notice it's absence soon enough. You're going to need to return that within a day or two."

Sighing, Fred agreed "You're right. But in the meantime there has to be _something_ we can do with it."

"I'm sure you two can come up with more mischief in a day than the whole of Gryffindor, save Potter, could come up with in a month. You'll figure something out," Seamus proclaimed loyally. On his way out he turned back. "By the way, Dumbledore's password is 'Butterscotch Pixies'... Incase you were wondering," he finished with a smirk as he stepped out and closed the door.

"He's growing on me," Fred announced.

"Me too brother. Me too."

~.~

~.~


	4. Chapter 4

Scanning the crowd the next morning, Fred checked the sea of first years coming out of their charms classroom. Granger was the first one out, her bushy hair flew behind her as she ran off to her next class. A hoard of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff kids dribbled into the hallway a full minute after Granger disappeared. Sighing in frustration, Fred grabbed ahold of Ron's robes as he and Harry were the last kids to leave the room.

"Why are you two so slow?" Fred demanded.

The two younger boys grinned sheepishly at each other and avoided Fred's gaze.

"Well… we were kind of playing hangman when we were supposed to be practicing," Harry admitted. "Then er- Flitwick held us after class," he finished lamely.

Although Fred wouldn't admit it, he wanted to reprimand his honorary brother and Ron for not paying attention. However, that would be crossing the line way too far into Percy's realm. Also, he was in no place to tell them what they 'should and should not do' seeing as he was currently in the middle of plotting against the headmaster.

Smirking, Fred let it slide and patted Harry on the back, guiding him down the hall.

"Come on little bro, we need to have a chat."

"Hey! What about me?" yelled Ron.

"Shut up!" said Fred's retreating back as he lead Harry down the corridor.

~.~

Once seated in a deserted classroom, Fred wasted no time in getting to the point. "I need your invisibility cloak."

"What? How did you- when did? Who told you?" the boy stammered.

"George and I aren't as thick as we look. We know when our baby brothers are hiding things. Now seriously, we need to get to class and we have no time to waste. Can I borrow your cloak? It will only be for a day or two," Fred finished.

Apparently Potter was used to the whole 'no questions asked' thing, because he consented fairly quickly. "Yeah alright, I'll lend it to you. On one condition." He paused for dramatic effect, "you scare Malfoy with it."

"Wow Potter, you're more Slytherin than I would bank upon. But you've got yourself a deal," Fred said with laughter in his eyes.

The two shook on it.

~.~

That afternoon, up in their dormitory, the twins sat perched on the window sill hunched over the map. The view from their window was spectacular, they could see a good portion of the forest along with the lake. However, their eagle-eye view of the castle from the map grasped their attention far more than the natural panorama ever could.

"Georgie, he's been pacing for hours. We aren't ever going to get leverage on him if he keeps up this nonsense," Fred complained.

George glanced up at his brother just as he was lowering a grape bunch into his mouth and extracting the end piece with his teeth. The juice squirted out and little flecks landed on the map.

"Oi!" yelled George. "Fred, you prat! You're getting the map all dirty. And just because Dumbledore hasn't done anything but stand in his office for a while, doesn't mean that he isn't going to do something. We have to keep watching."

"You know McGonagall's right," said a voice from the corner.

The twins' heads snapped up to see Seamus walking in.

"If you two put forth as much dedication into school work as you did into these pranks, you would be the top of your class," Seamus concluded. "Why are you so devoted to pranking Dumbledore anyways? From the way you two are acting, it would seem like your life depended upon it."

"Because Finnegan. We like a challenge," said Fred leaning forward dramatically. "No one believes that we can prank Dumbledore. And that is the fuel to our flame."

"Think about it," added George, "If someone told you that you weren't capable of blowing something up, what would you do?"

"Hey that isn't the same thing and you know it," Seamus chuckled. "But hypothetically I would burn everything in sight."

The boys spent the better part of an hour playing exploding snap. Since it was Friday, they felt no obligation to even think about their homework. After three games, all of which George won, he decided to peek at the map.

This time Dumbledore was stationary, presumably sitting at his desk. Sighing in frustration, George scanned the rest of the map to memorize the many passageways while he still could. It wasn't too long before he began taking interest in the people rather than the structure of the castle.

Internally rolling his eyes, George saw his wayward brother and Harry strolling up the seventh floor corridor. It was amusing to him that they unknowingly passed by the Room of Requirement- whatever that was.

George desperately wished that he could keep this map. It was so useful, and rather entertaining.

Suddenly, George caught sight of something very interesting in the entrance hall.

He distantly heard Seamus saying that he needed to find Dean, and faintly recognized the sound of the door shutting as he left. He felt Fred brush up against him.

"What's up?" Fred asked.

"Fred look! It's Minister Fudge!" George pointed to the entrance hall and trailed his finger along with the moving name tag.

"You don't think he's going to see Dumbledore do you?" Fred wondered.

"Why else would he be here?" George said with a mischievous grin.

Making a split decision, George hastened for the invisibility cloak and tossed it around himself and his brother.

"We're following him," George simply stated.

~.~

~.~


	5. Chapter 5

The twins caught sight of Fudge on the 2nd floor corridor right outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

Humming to himself, Fudge stopped to the sound of crying.

"Oh my word, that awful ghost is still here?" Fudge muttered to himself.

The man wandered into the bathroom, knowing that no one would would be in there, and looked around. The twins followed in hot pursuit wondering what the Minister of Magic would be doing in a school girls' bathroom.

"Get on out of here you pestilent ghost!" Fudge hollered at the transparent girl. "You're a nuisance to wizardkind and we don't need to hear your carrying on any longer."

If anything, the sobbing turned into shrieking. Eventually Fudge stalked out of the bathroom and continued on as if nothing happened.

Fred and George exchanged looks as they both silently agreed that they didn't like this man. They had only ever heard about him from their father and from what they could tell in person, Arthur Weasley made a huge understatement by saying 'Fudge is not very nice.'

"Come on let's follow him," Fred said.

"No wait. Shouldn't we say something to her?" George suggested while motioning to Myrtle.

Sighing, Fred quickly nodded. They would be able to catch up to Fudge with the map.

Cautiously walking into the bathroom, George spotted Myrtle by the sinks. She was leaning her nonexistent body weight onto them as though she were still corporeal. Her shoulders moved up and down as she shook from her sobs.

"Myrtle?" George said carefully.

The ghost hastily turned around and shrieked "What are _you_ two doing in here? This is a girl's bathroom. Did you want to tell me that I'm a nuisance to wizardkind? Because if so, I'll just go and kill myself to save you the trouble!" she proclaimed.

Before Fred could laugh at the irony, George elbowed him.

"No Myrtle, we don't feel that way. Actually, we think the opposite. Fudge is a jerk. Don't listen to him okay?" George pleaded.

Myrtle turned her back towards them and glared at the twins suspiciously through the mirror.

"Why should you think differently from him? I'm just a waste of space and I shouldn't have ever come back to this cruel world," she finished dramatically.

Fred spoke up, "Alright Myrtle, just try to take our word for it. We have somewhere to be right now, but Georgie and I will come and visit you soon."

The sobbing only continued and the twins shrugged at each other, threw back on the cloak, and left.

~.~

"Ouch, you stepped on my foot!"

"Oi! Don't shove me!"

"Quiet you prat, someone's coming!"

The twins were slowly making their way up the staircase when a hoard of students started walking down.

"Oh bloody hell. We've got to go back down again before someone bumps into us," Fred complained.

As quickly as they could, the boys started making their way back down the staircase. However, they weren't fast enough.

"What the hell?!" a Ravenclaw girl yelped as she ran into a solid wall of nothing.

The boys were sent tumbling down the staircase. Luckily they had prepared for such events by casting a well placed sticking charm on the cloak. Luckily, they stayed covered. Yet that didn't stop all the students from hearing loud thuds as the boys hit each and every step.

Cringing from the pain that erupted in his shoulder, George prayed that the students wouldn't figure them out. Dumbledore had eyes and ears everywhere and if he started hearing the students claiming that random walls of transparency were popping up around the castle, the first people he would suspect to be behind it would be either Harry or themselves.

Just as the other kids began to inspect the scene, an ink jar flew out from the top of the staircase and showered the Ravenclaw students.

Peeves appeared, cackling contentedly as they ran away screaming.

"Fly away little ravens," Peeves called. He turned toward the twins and stared at them as though he could see them and frowned. Just when the twins thought it was their turn to be drenched in ink, the floating man smirked, winked, and flew off.

"Woahhhh, that was wicked!" said Fred not-so eloquently. "You'd almost think that Peeves was _helping_ us!"

 _I'm pretty sure he was helping us_ , George thought in amazement.

The boys picked themselves up with determination. If they didn't get to Dumbledore's office soon, they would miss the whole meeting. It'd been at least 10 minutes since they let Fudge get away. With quickened steps, they climbed the stairs to the third corridor.

Finally the freckled fiends made it to the gargoyle.

"Butterscotch Pixies," Fred whispered.

As though knowing the boys were trying to stay under the radar, the statute made little to no noise as it revealed the hidden spiral staircase. The twins hopped aboard and were brought to a wooden door.

"What do you not understand about that?" the rather irritated voice of Fudge said from inside the office. "The Board of Governors is not happy with the way you're running this school Albus!"

The twins had to get closer to the wooden door to hear Dumbledore's reply.

"Cornelius, I am merely asking what it is about my leadership that would cause the Board to send you over here to complain on their behalf," Dumbledore asked diplomatically.

Sputtering, Fudge spat "Well they disapprove of your staff. Yeah, that's it, they want to see fresh faces."

No sounds came from the office. The twins leaned in closer to the door incase they missed something.

Eventually Dumbledore responded. His voice was unlike his usual cheerful self. "Fresh faces? What do you mean by fresh faces?" he said with a chilly note, eerily quiet.

"U-umm….. Th-they wish to appoint some new professors. The current ones are _way_ to outdated. For example that Binns creature….Ugh. He has been here for far too long. And that horribly plain Scottish woman…...err…" Fudge trailed off. Fred reckoned Dumbledore had glared at him with such intensity.

"We can discuss this later Cornelius. For now let's move onto other matters," Dumbledore suggested.

By that point the twins had stopped listening. Slowly and quietly, they made their way down the staircase and out into the corridor.

"Fresh faces? FRESH FACES?" Fred roared indignantly. "What does that man think he's doing?!"

"Fred calm down! There's no way it's actually going to happen!" George vocalized.

"You sure? Oh I don't know! I _hope_ nothing happens….."

As Fred continued to fret, George was contemplative. What they heard up there was some valuable information. Although it was pretty bad news, there was no way that Dumbledore would ever let something like that happen. Yet the information could be used to their advantage…

"Oi! Fred, quit it! You'll draw too much attention to us!" George cried. "I've got a plan!"

That last sentence alone made Fred turn to his brother. Anything that started with 'I've got a plan' had to mean something good. Fred was extremely clever at times and could handle magic well, if not better than George. However, it was usually George who thought of the schemes.

"Well. What is it?" Fred asked with anticipation.

"The Board wants fresh faces? Let's give them fresh faces," George smirked evilly. "Okay, this is what we're going to do…."

~.~

Fred and George sat in silence on the floor, carving a new tic-tac-toe game into the stone. It was getting close to curfew and if they didn't carry out their plan before then, it would be even harder to accomplish.

Fred sat in nervous anticipation because of what they were about to do. He couldn't believe that George had come up with such a genius idea. It was extremely risky, but if everything fell into place, they would go down in history as the best prankers the school has ever seen.

The twins perked up as the stone gargoyle began to shift out of place. They tossed the cloak over themselves once more and waited.

The pudgy, gray haired man stepped out into the corridor and continued on his way to the entrance hall.

"Petrificus Totalus!" two voices screamed.

The minister was knocked completely off his feet and became as stiff as a board in midair just before he came crashing down. Before anyone could disrupt them, the twins dragged Fudge's body into an empty classroom. The minister's beady eyes swiveled back and forth in an effort to see who the culprits were.

The twins threw off their cloak and the old man's eyes pierced through their very souls. Fred emitted an evil cackle that could rival Peeves and promptly plucked some hairs off of Fudge's head.

"Care to do the honor, brother of mine?" Fred cordially invited George with a gesture of his hand.

"Why certainly old chap," he responded in kind.

George flourished his wand and hovered it over the minister's forehead.

"Obliviate," he chanted.

Fudge's eyes glazed over and his body relaxed despite the stunning spell. After a minute or two, all was finished.

George opened the door and checked to see if anyone was around. With the hallway clear and secured, the twins picked up the minister together and carried him out into the hall.

"Okay Fred, your turn," George prompted.

Fred tossed the cloak over their heads one last time and stuck his arm outside of it.

"Rennervate," he whispered.

And there the Minister of Magic went, walking along without a care in the world, not realizing what had just happened.

~.~

~.~


	6. Chapter 6

It was nearing curfew. The twins had limited time to carry out the most risky part of their plan. They made a slow procession toward the dungeons. The lanterns flared up just as they reached the entrance hall. The castle doors were opened a crack and in the darkness the lawn was illuminated by the torchlights from inside.

Just as the twins were about to descend the stairs to the dungeons, they turned toward the sound of voices. Fred poked George with glee as they realized who it was!

Fred leaned in and whispered "Look! It's Malfoy and his goons! We can fulfill my promise to Harry."

George silently brooded about how inconvenient this was. His more cunning and less suicidal side was telling him to continue down the stairs and slip away unnoticed. But it was just too tempting for him.

As the three first years were about to walk past them to the stairs, George stuck out his leg and tripped Goyle.

"OI!" yelped Crabbe in fright as Goyle fell over.

He flexed his muscles, ready to fight. Malfoy on the other hand looked about ready to wet his pants and Fred snickered in delight. Malfoy spun around at the noise and the twins snuck around the other side of him and yanked his robes.

"AHHH MERLIN'S BALLS!" the first year screamed.

The twins doubled over in silent laughter.

 _Merlin's balls? Never heard that one before_ , George thought in appreciation.

By the time the boys stopped laughing, the first years were on their feet and flying down the stairs towards Snape's office.

"Hey this works out! They'll go running to Snape and keep him preoccupied while we raid his stores!" George claimed confidently.

Fred nodded in agreement and the duo made their way down the stairs that the first years just ran down.

For one breathtaking moment, at the bottom of the stairs, Snape passed the twins and lead the way back up to the entrance hall as Malfoy and his goons desperately recounted the details of their story to him. If Snape weren't so angry, he probably would have noticed the twins' presence.

"Gee Snape looks pretty peeved," Fred said uncertainty.

"Don't start doubting yourself now, we have to do this. Let's go. And fast," George commanded.

As quickly as they could, the twins ran down the corridor and finally arrived at a locked door.

"Damn, this thing probably has all kinds of locking spells on it," George complained.

As if already knowing what George was going to say, Fred whipped a bobby pin out of his pocket and rifled it around in the lock. Eventually the door popped open and made as little as one small creak of noise. The marauders rushed inside.

"Okay what are we going to need? Do you remember?" Fred asked.

"It's pretty advanced but I think I do….ummm…" George paused for a few seconds and then started reeling off a list of ingredients. "Lacewing flies, Uhh leeches, fluxweed picked at full moon, Uhhhh…."

"Slow down will ya?" yelled Fred. He had been rushing around gathering ingredients as George had been listing them off with his fingers.

After a few minutes they had finished gathering the ingredients they needed. Fred had just managed to stuff the last of the boomslang skin into his pocket and slip under the invisibility cloak when the door slammed open.

"Professor, are you even listening to me? Do you even care what just happened?" Malfoy was still following the professor.

Snape promptly ignored the blonde and stared with a critical eye around the room. Upon noticing some empty shelves, the man flipped.

"WHO DARED TO ENTER MY PERSONAL STORES AND TAKE MY PRECIOUS INGREDIENTS!" he bellowed.

The twins had been standing right in front of him and deftly took a step back in synchronous.

Malfoy looked even more terrified now than he did in the entrance hall.

The bat began roaming around the room and came way too close for the twins' comfort. They would have tried to escape, but Malfoy the snot was standing right in the doorway.

 _Hmmmm_ , George thought, _Well, there's only one thing to do really._

George grabbed ahold of his brothers arm and slammed into Malfoy on the way out the door.

"AGHH!" the younger boy screeched as he toppled to the ground.

The boys stormed noisily off down the corridor and made it to the bottom of the stairs when they heard clomping footsteps behind them. In horror, George turned and saw Snape barreling in their direction as though he could see them!

"Merlin's balls!" George cursed, using Malfoy's vernacular.

They were done for and they both knew it. There was no way they were going to make it up the stairs without Snape crashing into them! Looking around desperately, the boys tried to find something that would help them.

Luckily there was a door just to their right. George opened the door and closed it without going inside.

Fortunately Snape bought the trick. The boys watched as the overgrown bat rushed into the room and started screaming profanities and cursing Godric Gryffindor for his "insufferable house traits."

The boys snuck up the stairs and ran far away.

Once they put enough distance between themselves and Snape, they sat down to catch their breath. It was a good fifteen minutes past curfew now and since it was Friday night, it was already almost eleven pm.

"That. Was. Close," George said between heavy breathing.

"It's after curfew," Fred complained while checking his watch. "We still have to return the map to Dumbledore."

From the ground George began moaning. "Ughhh… I know but… that's suicidal!"

"And stealing from Snape isn't?!" Fred asked incredulously. He was getting worried at his brother's lack of confidence. They had just one more thing to do that night. "We _need_ Dumbledore's hair."

"Maybe we could get Seamus to do it," George pleaded. The many close calls that night had gotten to him.

Fred responded, "We got lucky once with Seamus, it's unlikely that it would go smoothly again."

Finally Fred convinced his brother to carry on with the plan. That night they already had a close call with Ravenclaws, Peeves, the Minister, Malfoy, and Snape. It would be detrimental to their plan if they screwed up this next bit. Sure, the last run-in might have been risky to their attendance to this school, but the next and final bit of the plan was the most risky to their victory in the prank war.

For the last time that night, the twins arrived at the third floor corridor. They stopped to check the map one more time. They saw that Dumbledore's name tag was stationary in a room beyond his office.

"Hopefully this means he's asleep," Fred bidded.

The boys removed the cloak- not without checking their surroundings of course- and walked up to the gargoyle.

"Butterscotch Pixies," the boys said together.

The gargoyle hesitated and sprang to life as it gave the twins a suspicious glance.

"Oh come on you dolt! We know the password!" Fred complained while kicking at it.

"What he means to say is….we know the password! So if you could kindly move out of our way that would be appreciated," George salvaged the conversation carefully.

Eventually the gargoyle stopped glaring at them and moved out of the way. The twins hopped on the spiral staircase. At the top, Fred pushed the door open slowly. No sound was made and the office was dark aside from the moonlight glowing through the windows.

Multiple papers were strewn across the main desk and even on the floor. It seemed as though the old man was still quite busy and had likely not noticed the map's absence. The boys made their way through the mess and towards the bookshelf that Seamus had described to them. George placed the map on the shelf.

For one heart stopping moment, Fred noticed a huge bird perched on the railing leading to Dumbledore's quarters. It was magnificent, it's feathers shined red and gold in the moonlight. The bird eyed them with curiosity and gave Fred a wink. Fred nudged George and when he finally looked up the bird was gone.

"What is it?" George said in hushed annoyance.

"There was just- there was…..a bird. It was sitting right there!" Fred replied and pointed to the railing.

"What do you mean there was a bird? Wouldn't I have noticed it? And where is it now?" George finished in panic.

Amongst their bickering a huge gust of air came over them. Fred turned and saw the very same bird sitting on Dumbledore's desk. George followed suit and gasped.

"Oh Merlin! The coot has a pet!" George cried. "We're done for!"

Before anyone could do anything the beautiful creature dropped something at their feet. They had to bend down and squint, but eventually they could make out three silver strands of hair.

~.~

~.~


	7. Chapter 7

Saturday morning dawned bright and early. The sunlight through their window was piercing enough to wake the twins at an early hour. Last night had taken a toll on their nerves and they made their way down to breakfast in a zombified mess.

At the Gryffindor table, they placed themselves as far away from the head table as possible.

After filling up his plate George took a glance at the staff. With suppressed panic, George poked Fred and motioned to the offending table.

Dumbledore was seated in the middle as usual. But what really made the twins squirm was that both Snape and Flitwick were haranguing Dumbledore about something. Most likely the Ravenclaws had complained to Flitwick about their encounter with a transparent wall last night. And Snape….well they definitely knew what he was peeved about. Of course the mayhem the twins caused last night wouldn't go unnoticed to the headmaster. However, Dumbledore ignored his colleagues and seemed a bit disappointed as he glanced over at Potter who was loading his plate of food. The younger boy was unaware of his newfound attention as he happily conversed with Ron and Hermione.

"Oh no! He thinks it's Harry!" Fred said.

George grimaced and tried very hard to squash the guilt that was arising in him. "I know. We should probably warn him."

After breakfast the twins stopped Potter in the entrance hall and quickly handed him back his invisibility cloak.

"Harry, we're so sorry," Fred started.

"We did some stuff last night with your invisibility cloak, and we think that Dumbledore is suspicious of you," George finished.

The younger boy stood in silence thinking. His scar was visible through his messy hair and he stood with his hand supporting his chin as he contemplated his response.

"Tell me what you did," Harry finally said.

The twins recounted the entire story and even told Harry of their future plans. It was the least they could do. Harry's eyes grew more round with each word.

Harry smirked to himself when they finished and cheerfully said, "At least Malfoy got scared!" He paused and looked up at the twins, "If your plan weren't so genius I don't think I would be offering this….but against my better judgement, if anything comes up, I'll take the fall for you."

The twins shared looks in stunned silence. If Harry took the blame for them, he was likely to be in detention for the rest of the school year and possibly some of the next one.

"Don't look like that, I'm used to being in trouble. Plus I need to keep an eye on Snape for my own personal reasons as well. If I get detention with him, I can do some investigating!" the boy reasoned.

The twins couldn't believe what they were hearing. Someone _wanted_ to have detention with Snape?! And Harry of all people? Snape hated Harry, everyone knew that.

The older boys shrugged their shoulders to each other and turned back to Harry.

"Alright. We'll take the minimum amount of ingredients we need from the bottles and then give you the rest back. If Dumbledore calls you to his office, have a story ready as to why you took stuff from Snape's storage room," Fred said.

"Don't worry, I already have a story ready," Harry laughed.

~.~

Later that day in the common room Harry was given a note by a prefect to meet Dumbledore in his office.

Turning to the twins, Harry sent them a reassuring wink, and stepped through the portrait hole.

The boys grimaced in guilt. They headed up to their dorm and flopped down onto their respective beds and looked up at the ceiling.

"That kid is a miracle," Fred pointed out.

"I know," George responded.

After a few minutes of silence the door slammed open and the twins sat upright in surprise. Finnegan was standing in the doorway seething.

"What did you buffoons do? I was just walking out of a meeting in Dumbledore's office when Snape came in dragging Harry! He was screaming something about him stealing ingredients from his private stores!" Seamus yelled.

"How do you even know it was us?" George asked, worried that they'd been caught.

"I saw the map put back on Dumbledore's shelf and I know that Harry wasn't outside the common room last night because I happened to be in the same room with him finishing up some late work and then played Exploding Snap with him. Plus no one would be dumb enough to raid Snape's potions except you two!" Seamus spat out.

"Look, don't worry about it. We squared it away with Harry. He agreed to take the blame for us!" Fred said defensively. "Besides, when this is all over, his name will be cleared."

"Oh? How long do you suppose that's going to take?" Seamus roared. "Not to mention the amount of time Harry will have to spend in detention between now and then!"

The twins shared a guilty look but continued in their defense.

"Look Seamus, we feel the same way," George said calmly. "But we didn't ask Harry to do this, he volunteered to. He said that he needed to watch Snape for personal reasons and that detention is the only way he can do it while avoiding suspicion."

"Trust me, we think he's nutters as well," Fred said upon Seamus's confused look.

After a very long silence Seamus asked one last question, "What are you guys planning to do anyways? And if you don't tell me I'll go straight to Dumbledore right now and tell him the truth!"

The twins sighed expecting no less. They were planning on telling Seamus anyway. At the end of their tale, Seamus seemed even more enthusiastic than Harry had.

"That's brilliant!" he conceded.

The door opened once again to reveal Harry. His cloak was all ruffled up and his face was crestfallen as he stood there.

The other boys quickly rushed over to him.

"What happened? You're not expelled are you?" they asked.

"No. Not expelled," Harry replied dully.

He still stood there, not offering up anymore information.

"Well? What did happen?" Seamus finally asked.

Harry glanced at him skeptically and then towards the twins.

"It's alright Harry, you don't need to worry about Seamus. He's helping us as well," George reassured.

Harry exhaustedly began speaking. "Nothing that bad happened. Of course Snape was a nightmare, but it was just how disappointed Dumbledore was that was so unbearable. I wish he would have yelled at me. Instead he spoke with such disappointment and those eyes of his said the rest."

The twins nodded in understanding, they had been on the receiving end of some of those looks as well. They all waited for Harry to continue.

"He nearly pulled me off the quidditch team. Luckily he didn't do that when I told the 'truth' about what happened so readily," Harry said with a slight smirk.

"What's your punishment then?" the boys asked in anticipation.

Harry actually looked up and smiled. "I have detention with Snape for a month!"

Harry's actions and words were so contradictory that all the boys fell over laughing. They were all so ridiculous, George realized. Here they were, risking expulsion for the most stupid things!

Once the boys stopped laughing they all parted ways for the day. They would need a long rest to complete the tasks ahead of them.

~.~

~.~


	8. Chapter 8

History of Magic was _so_ boring. Monday afternoon found the twins stuck in the humid classroom amongst the Hufflepuff third years. No one seemed to be paying attention whatsoever. Most played silent games of hangman while others were doing homework from different classes entirely. Fred and George on the other hand were in the midst of planning.

It wasn't uncommon for them to talk quietly amongst themselves. No one payed them any mind as they passed notes back and forth to each other, least of all Professor Binns.

 _Where should we brew the potion?_ Wrote Fred.

 _I was thinking Myrtle's bathroom_ , George replied.

Fred glanced at him like he was crazy and wrote furiously in return.

 _Like that isn't suspicious at all! Firstly, if we get caught going into a girls loo we'll get into trouble. Secondly, Dumbledore will wonder why the bloody hell we're in there when he sees us on the map!_ Fred roughly shoved the paper over to George.

Sighing in impatience, George wrote back.

 _We won't get caught. And we can get Finnegan to tell Dumbledore that we've made friends with Myrtle. Plus, no one goes in that loo let alone near it so we won't be interrupted._

Fred read his response and acquiesced with a nod of his head.

Now that they'd finished their plans, they began to occupy themselves with flicking spit balls over at Lee Jordan. The other boy turned around and fired back. Soon the whole of Gryffindor and even some Hufflepuff students had joined in. All was lost on the oblivious Professor Binns.

~.~

"What about in the meantime?" Fred asked after class.

"Come again?" George replied.

"Won't Dumbledore notice if we stop plotting against him? We should just do little pranks and stuff on the side so he doesn't know what we're really doing!" Fred clarified.

George stopped by the window overlooking the quidditch pitch and considered this interesting proposition. Fred was right, they needed to keep up appearances. Something told him they were going to be doing a lot more prank work, and a LOT less school work.

George cackled maniacally with his hands outstretched in the air. He paid no mind to the students who glanced over at him and his brother. Fred raised a questioning eyebrow at George. He shrugged, grabbed his brother's cloak, and dragged him to the Great Hall for dinner.

~.~

Malfoy looked scared out of his wits. It was downright satisfying! The boy kept looking around as if he was going to be ambushed in the middle of everyone. George looked over and caught Harry's eye. They smirked at each other and turned back to their plates.

A lingering guilt clutched George's conscience but he pushed it back. Harry could handle himself. However, a glance at Snape made all that guilt and more come back. The man was fuming. George had never seen so much color adorn that man's face. Or anyone's face for that matter. It was so _red_.

 _Ah jeez, the sooner this is over, the better_ , George thought. _We could just call off the whole thing…._

"Nahh," George said aloud with the shaking of his head.

Fred shot him a concerned look.

George shook his head and rolled his eyes to show his brother that he was still sane….sort of. He picked up his fork and resumed eating.

~.~

~.~


	9. Chapter 9

Dusk had settled upon the substantial mountains surrounding the school. The last of the sun that peaked over them was just enough to leave a trail of light beams throughout the empty Gryffindor common room. Since it was Monday afternoon, most of the students were either at the library or turning into their rooms early. The serene warmth and calmness that filled the space ended abruptly as three boys stomped into the room.

" _That_ was brilliant!" Fred concluded.

"Did you see his face when he ran out?!" Seamus agreed.

George smirked at their perfectly engineered plan. It involved no magic at all which was all the more powerful. All they did was place bubotuber plant swellings underneath the toilet seats.

It just so happened that right after they finished, Malfoy walked into the bathroom. Although the three boys were deftly placed underneath Harry's once-again borrowed invisibility cloak, they just barely held in their laughter when it happened. George swore that he could pinpoint the exact moment that Malfoy had taken a seat and the pus had squirted all over the back of his legs. Watching the prince of Slytherin run from the bathroom with his pants halfway up was indeed _very_ satisfying.

The boys threw themselves upon the bigger armchairs in the room. They spent the rest of the evening enjoying exploding bonbons and exchanging ideas for more pranks. If anyone entered or exited the common room, the boys hadn't noticed.

"Hey what if we took Filch's cat and spelled him pink?" Seamus suggested.

Fred looked on in shock, "You must be suicidal!" he paused. "I like it!"

George rolled his eyes and turned his head towards the window as the two continued plotting out the details. After a time Seamus got up. It was time for him to meet with Dumbledore.

"What are you going to tell him?" George wondered.

"I'm gonna say that I overheard you guys bragging about the prank on Malfoy- sorry if you get into trouble for that by the way," Seamus acknowledged, "but I really need to give him some information otherwise he'll get suspicious."

The twins nodded. It wasn't likely that Dumbledore was going to punish them anyways. It was almost as if the man encouraged this sort of behavior. If only their mother knew. George shuddered at the thought.

The twins settled down to wait until Seamus returned. Not two seconds after the boys let their bodies relax did the portrait hole slam open.

"OUCH! Watch yourself young man!" the fat lady screamed.

The twins turned their heads towards the perpetrator. It was Harry. He walked in and glanced around, disoriented. When his eyes landed on the twins they shone in relief.

"Blimey Harry, what's wrong?" Fred asked.

Hesitantly, Harry took a seat across from the older boys. He looked down at his knees and clenched his fists as if willing himself to speak.

"I-I.. umm," Harry started. The twins leaned forward in their chairs. "I need to tell you something."

The twins waited patiently while Harry gathered his thoughts. George wondered what on Earth could have the younger boy so tongue tied. He figured that he just finished detention with Snape, so it probably wasn't anything good.

"Okay," said Harry with an air of finality. "I'm going to tell you something but you have to swear to keep it to yourselves." He glanced at each one of them in turn while they nodded their heads. Jerking his head once in acceptance he began. "In the summer before school started, Hagrid took me to Gringotts. After we got stuff out of my vault, Hagrid said that we needed to stop at another one. I couldn't quite see what was inside, but when Hagrid came out of the vault he was holding a pretty small bag. He told me that the item was top secret and Dumbledore had asked him to fetch it for him. I didn't think anything of it until one day at breakfast, _The Daily Prophet_ said someone tried to break into the vault that Hagrid and I went to. I knew then that whatever was in that little package was something that needed to be protected by Dumbledore." Harry paused for a moment to catch his breath. He was obviously hesitating about telling Fred and George the next bit.

"What is it Harry?" George prompted. "You can tell us anything."

Harry smiled almost ruefully and continued, "A few months ago, Ron and I went to the trophy room after curfew to duel Malfoy." Although he earned a couple of glares at that, he went on. "Malfoy didn't show up, but instead tipped off Filch to where we were going to be. Ron and I ran from the room once we heard Filch approaching. We still didn't know our way around the castle very well, and we ended up in the third floor corridor."

Fred and George gasped at this. They desperately wanted to know what could possibly be there, but everytime they tried to take a look, one of the teachers would appear out of nowhere and scold them for trying.

Harry could tell that the twins had stilled considerably and was appreciative that they were taking him seriously. It was nice to share this information with someone other than Ron and Hermione.

"Filch was still following us, so we ran into the door nearest to us. We thought we were in the clear until we heard this dreadful noise behind us. I turned around and nearly wet myself because right in front of us was this _massive_ three headed dog!" Harry explained.

The twins shared looks of shock. There was a _cerberus_ in the castle?! They would have never guessed that!

Harry continued, "We obviously ran the hell out of there. Luckily Filch had left by then, but I would have preferred him over that dog anyday…. Anyways, when we got back to the common room I realized that the dog was standing on a trap door- don't ask me how I noticed that in all the commotion. But I realized that the dog must be guarding something. Then I remembered the package that Hagrid brought to Dumbledore, and I realized that's what the dog must be guarding."

George thought that the conclusion Harry made was a valid assumption. However, Fred seemed unconvinced.

"Are you sure about that, Harry?" Fred questioned. "It just seems so unlikely that something so small would need that much guarding."

"Yeah I know," Harry agreed. "But I was hoping that I could get some information out of Hagrid, so one afternoon I visited him. I told him that Snape had tried to curse my broomstick at the quidditch match- Hermione saw him," Harry interjected in explanation at the twins' confused looks. "Hagrid didn't believe me, so I told him that I thought Snape was trying to get past the three headed dog on Halloween after the troll incident because his leg was bloodied up really badly." Harry smirked at the memory of Hagrid spluttering tea all over his table and Fang's confused tilt of the head. "He just looked at me and said 'How do you know 'bout Fluffy?!'"

"That _thing_ has a name?" Fred said.

Harry nodded as if in disbelief also. "I ignored his question and told him that I knew 'Fluffy' was guarding whatever he got out of the vault for Dumbledore. He got all stern and wagged his finger at me saying 'You forget that dog, an' you forget what it's guardin', that's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicolas Flamel!" Harry finished with glee.

The twins started grinning with mischief. Hagrid was clumsy alright, spilling secrets like that to eleven year olds.

"Then what happened? Who's Nicolas Flamel?" George asked.

"Ron, Hermione and I searched through the library for _months_ trying to figure out who he was until finally it just popped into my head! If you look on Dumbledore's chocolate frog card you'll get your answer."

The twins scrambled up to their dormitory with Harry behind them. They rummaged through their haphazardly thrown clothes and finally came upon their individual card collection stack at the bottom of their trunks. As if in a race, the twins started dealing out their cards to find Dumbledore's.

"AHA!" Fred yelled. He had found the card and began reading it hungrily. "Okay… so Flamel worked on alchemy with Dumbledore. So what?" he said in confusion.

"I was confused too, but then Hermione grabbed this ginormous book and read a passage that explained Nicolas Flamel is the only known maker of the Sorcerer's Stone!" Harry concluded.

The twins finally understood. Now it all made sense- why the package was so small, why something as dangerous as a cerberus was guarding it.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," George started. "Fluffy is guarding the Sorcerer's Stone and you think Snape is after it?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you guys about," Harry said shyly. "Something happened in detention today that made me confused."

Fred and George patted the bed next to them, indicating for Harry to sit down. They all sat in a circle.

"As you already know, I wanted detention with Snape so that I could keep an eye on him. However, now I'm not so sure he's the one I should be keeping an eye on," Harry explained. "Today, when I was in the middle of cleaning cauldrons, someone knocked on the door. Snape went to go answer it, and from what I could gather, Madame Pomfrey had sent Quirrell to get dreamless sleep potion from Snape since she ran out. Snape, obviously, was not pleased and he summoned the potion over and shoved it into Quirrell's hands. It was really faint, but before Snape closed the door I heard him say to Quirrell 'I know what you're doing Quirrell, and you will _never_ get past the cerberus.'"

George was sure that Harry was done surprising him for one night, but this news was just...well. Shocking. He could believe that Snape was the one going after the Stone, but _Quirrell_? It just didn't add up.

"What should I do?" Harry wondered out loud.

The twins weren't entirely sure either. This was a nasty situation. Someone was obviously after the stone and it was unclear as to who it was.

"Just keep doing what you're doing," Fred suggested. "Let us know if anything else weird happens."

Harry nodded. The room got quiet. They all had things to think about.

The door burst open. "Hey guys, Dumbledore's all good. Doesn't suspect a thing. He's amused at your prank on Malfoy honestly and-" Seamus stopped mid-sentence when he saw them all sitting on the bed. "What's happened?" he asked.

"A lot my friend," the twins answered.

~.~

~.~


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh, it's you two again," Myrtle said aloud. This time she wasn't crying. She looked more curious as to why the twins kept their promise to visit her. Classes had just ended for the day, and she assumed that the students would be too busy with homework to be wandering the halls let alone make themselves present in her bathroom.

"Hello Myrtle!" the twins said with gusto. They began to set up their cauldron in the middle of the floor. Just like they had hoped, the loo was deserted- save Myrtle.

Fred began speaking to George, "What if we keep the supplies over near the window? It's colder and the breeze will keep the ingredients fresh."

"Yes I suppose so, but I'm just nervous that if someone walks in here they'll see them."

Myrtle's head swivelled back and forth between each twin and looked on at the equipment that they had brought into her abode. The boys seemed oblivious to her increasingly distraught nature.

"What are you _doing_?!" Myrtle shrieked at the redheads. "This is MY room and I will not have it be infested by the likes of you two! You're boys! And are obviously up to no good."

The twins stopped what they were doing and stared at her. Obviously it was going to take some charm and persuasion to get Myrtle to agree to their presence in her "room".

"Excuse us madam, for we only wished to keep you company while finishing up our work," Fred ended with a bow. George followed suit.

The ghost was taken aback, albeit felt a little suspicious. The twins could tell that this was new for her. Probably no one had ever willingly visited her.

"Why would you want to keep me company? Nobody likes me, least of all…" Myrtle flushed, "...attractive boys like yourselves."

The boys shared looks of glee. They had Myrtle right where they wanted her.

"Don't be silly my lady! Your presence is but a ray of sunshine compared to the other wenches we're around all day!" George complimented.

Myrtle giggled. Some color even seemed to appear in her translucent complexion. "Well alright then. You're welcome to stay," she conceded.

The boys spent rest of the afternoon huddled over a cauldron. Myrtle was surprisingly good company. She was helpful if nothing else. She was able to give them a few pointers on their potion.

"So, why are you brewing polyjuice potion anyways?" Myrtle finally asked when the twins began packing up for the day. It was almost curfew and Fred had just put a stasis spell over the concoction. They had made good progress and everything was the way it should be.

"Good question for another day Myrtle. We shall be back tomorrow. Don't let anyone in this bathroom, got it?" George instructed. "We trust you to watch over the potion. Do anything you have to do to keep people from entering."

The ghost took his word for it and nodded her head in consent.

Satisfied with her response, the boys headed towards the door.

"Thanks again Myrtle, see ya tomorrow!" said Fred.

For the first time in the history of Hogwarts, Myrtle smiled.

~.~

"T? You must be joking professor!" Fred whined.

George glanced down at his own returned Transfiguration essay and grimaced. His was no better than Fred's.

"I'm not joking, , your essay was an abomination," McGonagall lectured. "I suggest you spend more time studying and less time goofing off."

The old woman turned away and headed to the front of the room. George motioned to his paper so that Fred could see his score. Fred's frown only eased up a little bit when he discovered his brother's grade was just as terrible.

"We've got to spend more time thinking about school," Fred said during passing period. The people walking by turned at this and started laughing.

"Sheesh, it's like they've never seen us try to be good students before," Fred growled.

"That's probably because they haven't," George declared.

A few more minutes passed in brooding silence as the twins went down the hall to their next class, Herbology. Outside the castle they bumped into Seamus and Dean.

"Hey guys!" Seamus greeted. "Go on ahead Dean, I'll meet you at class."

Dean stopped and shot suspicious looks at the trio before moving on. Seamus grabbed the twins and pulled them into an alcove between a pillar and the castle wall.

"How's the potion coming along?" Seamus inquired.

"It's alright. Myrtle has weirdly been a big help, I'm glad we decided to brew in there," answered George.

"Has Dumbledore mentioned anything about us being in Myrtle's loo?" Fred asked.

"At first he didn't mention anything. But now that you've spent the past week with her, Dumbledore asked me to find out what was going on." At the twins' expectant looks, Seamus continued, "I told him that you guys made friends with Myrtle and he seemed fine with that answer."

"Good," George said. "And to keep up appearances we need to continue pranking random people."

"Those poor people," Fred added.

Seamus nodded slyly, "Anyways, I better go before I'm late to class." The brunette ran off into the castle.

The twins trekked down to the greenhouse. They were late.

~.~

~.~


	11. Chapter 11

Defense class was a quiet affair. Aside from the shuffling of everyone's books being withdrawn from their bags, no one was speaking. Harry began to wonder exactly what the point of this class was. They certainly didn't learn anything, let alone stay awake to learn anything. Even Hermione's eyes drooped as she took her place at the table next to him and Ron. The classroom always smelled weird. Yes, Harry had heard the rumors about garlic being stuffed up Quirrell's turban. However, if Harry could place a name to the scent he would say it was death. The man smelled ghastly and he couldn't stand to be within 10 feet of him.

With utter reluctance, Harry took his seat next to Ron and turned to the appropriate page in his book. He began to read the chapter, which did not hold his interest for very long. If it weren't for Quirrell's noisy entrance, Harry would have fallen asleep right then.

As an instinctual habit, Harry reached up to pinch his nose when Quirrell walked past him and to the front of the classroom. Harry froze. He looked around, but no one seemed to notice what had just happened. Ron glanced up in time to see Harry gain control of his facial features. Ron's questioning look was waved off by Harry and the lesson proceeded normally.

~.~

"I'm telling you guys! As he walked past me I distinctly heard the words ' _I'll kill you'_ ," Harry desperately told the twins.

George glanced at Fred nervously. "So… it didn't come from Quirrell or one of the other students? You just… heard it in the air?" Fred asked.

"No, I said this already, it was definitely coming from Quirrell, but his mouth wasn't moving!" Harry protested. "It was almost like it was coming from his mind!"

The younger boy paced around the dormitory as Fred and George sat on the window sill. Both boys fidgeted restlessly ever since this new information was brought to their attention. Things were getting weird and nothing good would come of it.

"Was it even Quirrell's voice though?" asked George.

"Well, it was hard to tell. It was very faint and I just barely caught it," Harry replied.

For the first time during the conversation, Fred grinned. "I think it'd be pretty obvious if it were Quirrell's voice or not, right?" Fred glanced at George for reassurance who just returned his look with curiosity. "Was the voice stuttering or not?" Fred finished.

"I don't think it's as simple as that," George supplied. "If the voice was Quirrell's, and he does indeed want to kill Harry, then maybe he's hiding his true personality. Maybe he doesn't really have a stutter."

"It could have been coming from his turban," Harry interrupted suddenly.

The twins exchanged dubious looks. "Umm, what would make you say that?" George questioned.

Harry considered that question for a moment. It was completely far fetched, but that turban was so mysterious, as was Quirrell's stutter actually. The man's whole persona was strange. Apparently the man never stuttered before, until recently. He supposedly acquired his turban recently as well.

"His scent affects me differently than everyone else. I can tell," Harry began. "To me, his turban smells like decay. I feel physically sick whenever he walks past me. So sick that I rudely have to cover my nose. Nobody else does that, I just see their noses twitch unpleasantly and then once Quirrell gets past them, they forget all about it." The twins looked unconvinced. Harry continued, "Also, whenever Quirrell's back is turned, my scar hurts."

This finally seemed to catch the older boys' attentions. They'd never of Harry's scar hurting, so it must've meant something.

"YES!" Fred yelled.

"What?" Harry and George replied.

However, Fred wasn't listening. Instead he started pacing around the room and rubbing his hands together mischievously.

"Seriously what's up?" George asked while giving his brother a good poke on the forehead.

Batting George's hand away impatiently, Fred finally stopped pacing and faced the other two. "I've got an idea. Something I've been wanting to do all year!" At George's and Harry's blank looks, Fred continued. "We should rip Quirrell's turban off in front of the whole school!" he finished grandly.

Harry and George looked at him like he grew a second head. "What the hell makes you think that's a good idea?" George questioned.

"No seriously, hear me out," Fred pleaded. "We could kill two birds with one stone if we do this. First of all, yes, we'll definitely get in trouble for yanking off Quirrell's turban if nothing is under it. However, at least Dumbledore will see that we're still pranking people. Secondly, we get to see what the deal is with that thing! If nothing's under it, we'll have a good laugh. If something _is_ under it….well…. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Fred concluded.

After a moment's pause, George complied "Yeah alright."

Harry nodded his head in agreement with George. "So when are we going to do it?"

"Tomorrow. Lunch time in the Great Hall," Fred announced.

Gulping back the saliva that had gathered in Harry's mouth, he nodded once more.

~.~

~.~


	12. Chapter 12

George could tell that his brother was excited. He tried to feed off of his energy but it was difficult. However, he wasn't exactly nervous either. Fred always brought out the more reckless free-spirit in him for which he was grateful. At Fred's nudge to the ribs, George glanced up and smirked at him.

"You ready?" Fred prompted.

"As I'll ever be," George finished.

The doors to the Great Hall creaked open and the boys snapped their heads towards the newcomer. Breathing a sigh of relief, George saw that it was only Harry.

Surprisingly to most people, The brunette boy plopped down next to the twins. He earned confused and suspicious looks from the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio. Ignoring them, Harry began shoveling food onto his plate.

"You sure you guys wanna do this?" Harry asked through mouthfuls of toast.

Fred smirked condescendingly down at the younger boy, "Most definitely."

Before George could finish rolling his eyes at his brother, his breath caught in his throat as their target walked through the door.

 _This is not good…._

The entire school was seated at this point. The staff table was filled with every professor, including Trelawney. No one was aware of what was about to take place. George's eyes roamed around the hall as kids carelessly shoveled food into their mouths and chatted with their friends before afternoon classes. Thoughts swirled one thousands miles a minute in George's head. Were they about to publicly humiliate a man in front of hundreds of people? Or were they going to save the school from a disastrous fate?

Before he could even contemplate answers to those questions, Fred began to stand up as Quirrell inevitably got closer. George thought of stopping him, but it was already too late.

Everything happened so fast. Yet George was still able to vividly recall every single detail as if taking time to stop and replay a movie over again.

Quirrell noticed too late what Fred was about to do and George could have sworn he knew the exact moment in which his face changed from naive bliss to sheer horror.

As Quirrell's turban was yanked off his head, the surrounding students' mouths dropped. At first because of their shock at Fred's audacity to do such a thing, but then because of what they saw.

Some girls nearby started shrieking which alerted the rest of the hall. All turned their heads and laid their eyes upon what should have been the back of Quirrell's head. A face adorned the bald surface. White like a ghost with the most red eyes. The nostrils were small slits.

George would have glanced at the head table but couldn't seem to remove his eyes from the horrifying sight. For a few moments nothing happened.

Quickly, Quirrell's shock turned into burning rage. Before anyone could move, the face screamed, "KILL HIM!" Quirrell's hands found themselves wrapped around Fred's neck within seconds.

George grabbed his wand to help his brother but was beaten by the first year next to him.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Harry screamed.

George bitterly noted that he missed by a fraction of an inch. Even worse was when the Quirrell-demon abandoned Fred and started making his way towards Harry and himself.

Quirrell stopped halfway towards them and turned around to reveal the face.

"Harry Potter…. We meet again," the ominous face hissed out.

"Who are you?" George thought Harry said rather calmly.

The face chortled, "Oh Harry, just as brave as your parents were. They would be so proud."

Harry's perplexed look became wary.

The dots finally connected for George.

 _Is that…..?_

"See what I have become? I am only able to survive attached to another's body. Like a parasite… all. Because. Of. YOU!" Voldemort screeched.

Harry flinched back and blinked. His wand was no longer poised for battle but rather hanging limply at his side. George knew the boy didn't realize who he was facing and just wished that he himself could overcome his own paralysis to save them all. Where were the professors when you needed them? Were they just sitting and watching this encounter as well?

Voldemort continued, "I killed your father first. He put up a good fight. Your mother didn't need to die but she was trying to protect you. I thought I had succeeded in destroying you until-"

His last words were cut off by the young Gryffindor punching him in the face. Everyone took a collective gasp as his little fist made contact with Voldemort and produced steam. Voldemort stumbled and cried out in pain, Quirrell's hand reached back to cup the melting flesh.

For an instant George could see Harry's confusion. However, the boy didn't stop to think about his unusual power and placed both hands forcefully onto Voldemort's face.

The teachers finally came running just as Harry fainted and Voldemort's spirit fled the hall. All the sounds flooded back into George's ears. He stood still and looked around. He could see his brother kneeling on the ground and gingerly rubbing his neck a few yards away. Harry's body lay on top of a clearly dead Quirrell and was surrounded by Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape. Most of the younger students were crying and screaming and Ron and Hermione tried pushing their way past everyone to get to Harry.

George took a seat on the bench as Seamus walked up to him, white in the face. The first year stuck out his hand for George to take. George accepted and stood up as Professor Sprout was yelling instructions at the prefects and shoving everyone out of the hall.

Luckily, McGonagall and Dumbledore allowed the two to accompany them to the infirmary with Fred and Harry as everyone else was ushered back to their common rooms.

~.~

~.~


	13. Chapter 13

The week following what the students dubbed, _the incident_ , was filled with mayhem. Parents owled the headmaster requesting- no- _demanding_ that their children be pulled out of school. Flitwick and McGonagall went around putting extra protective wards around the school, and Professor Sprout instructed the suits of armor to be on the lookout for any trouble. Nobody was able to go anywhere without being watched as the knights noisily clanked their way around following hoards of students.

Once Fred was all healed up, the professors gave him an earful about how irresponsible his actions were. All three boys- Harry, Fred and George- were assigned detention with Filch. However, no matter how angry McGonagall sounded, George could have sworn that there was a hint of pride in her features.

Although things were chaotic for a while, everyone settled down once it was announced that the stone was destroyed. People congratulated Fred as though he had personally destroyed it himself. Eventually, students even began to laugh about Fred's antics and marvelled at how crazy he was to pull off Quirrell's turban!

"I wouldn't have done it even if I thought something evil lurked under there," a hufflepuff admirer admitted.

While Fred enjoyed the attention and soaked up the praise like a sponge, he and George felt as though their job wasn't finished yet. Yes, this was a bonus for them, but their real aspirations lied within the unfinished potion.

After about a week of keeping their heads down, the twins decided it was time to check on their creation.

~.~

"Finally!" Fred exclaimed.

"Now all we need to do is add a bit of who we're turning into," George said with anticipation.

He clutched the vials that contained Dumbledore's and Fudge's hair. Now all they had to do was to wait for the right opportunity.

Fortunately, the chance didn't take long to arise.

That Saturday morning, the twins sat down to breakfast. Things had relatively calmed down since _the incident_ and even the students that were pulled out of school were back. The Hufflepuffs were playing miniature Gobstones at the table, the Ravenclaws were back to their old debates and discussions. The Slytherins were glaring at the Gryffindors and vice versa. It was all too mundane for Fred and George.

"Attention everyone!" Dumbledore announced.

The twins perked up at this because it was rare for the headmaster to make announcements. This either meant that he was going to forbid the students from going into a certain area (George smirked internally), or…

"I'm going to be out of the castle tomorrow. My brother has fallen ill and I need to tend to his needs. I bid you to treat Professor McGonagall with respect as she will be taking the place as temporary headmistress," he paused and looked pointedly down at the Slytherins and Gryffindors, "That is all."

The chatter resumed as if nothing had happened, yet the twins shot each other looks of glee. This was the perfect chance to carry out their plan since school was ending in a few weeks. Seamus cleared his throat from across the table and stared at the twins, a questioning glance in his eyes.

Fred nodded to him as if to say " _Yes, we're doing it now!"_

Seamus then grinned and tapped his wrist watch, which the twins knew was the signal for meeting in the bathroom in ten minutes.

~.~

Seamus was already in the loo when the twins stepped in. The first thing that anyone did was jump with joy. Myrtle looked on in confusion but seemed amused all the same.

"I can't believe how perfect this is! Dumbledore's gonna be gone for a whole day!" Seamus yelled.

The boys screamed some more and began to belly bump each other. Fred started doing some weird chant and dance around the potion that was kept fresh in a stasis spell. George and Seamus quickly joined him in their euphoria.

All movement stopped when the door opened to reveal a young Hufflepuff girl. The boys froze to stare at her. She stared back.

It was really awkward for a few moments as the boys had piled their robes on top of their heads and were positioned like gorillas around the potion.

The girl slowly backed out of the room without taking her eyes off of them.

The boys stayed still for a few more seconds before bursting out in laughter.

"I didn't know anybody actually _used_ this bathroom," Seamus said through his snorts, "We're lucky no one messed with this before," he finished while gesturing to the potion.

~.~

~.~


	14. Chapter 14

Clutching the silver hairs, George released a big breath. The morning light bounced off of his potion vial revealing how truly nauseating its colors were. He added the final ingredient and watched as bubbles began to form in the concoction. His brother mimicked his movements with his own vial.

"Once we drink these we only have one hour," George reminded his brother.

Fred nodded, "I know."

The two clinked their glasses, pinched their noses, and drank deeply. Before the first swallow, George was tempted to spit it out. Fred didn't look much better. However, their sheer determination led them to finish drinking. George figured that if they'd gone this far, they might as well finish.

The transformation was a painful one. While George grew upwards, Fred grew outwards. Luckily, they had changed into the appropriate outfits beforehand so that their school robes wouldn't get torn.

George glanced in the mirror and saw that his body had finished bubbling up. His face was now adorned in wrinkles and his white hair reached down to his stomach. He grabbed the half-moon spectacles in his pocket and placed them on his face while Fred placed his bowler hat on top of his head. The boys were lucky enough to befriend the house elves who were willing to dress them accordingly.

"Alright, I'll see you here in an hour then?" George confirmed.

"Good luck brother," Fred agreed.

The two stepped out of the bathroom and went their separate ways. According to the plan, George was to go to Sprout's office. However, it was only 7am and he was beginning to doubt if the professor was even awake.

 _Oh well, too late to change the plan I guess_ , George thought.

His newly longer legs carried him more quickly than he expected to his destination. George hesitated before knocking. He realized now that Dumbledore would normally floo into his staff's offices.

Knowing that there was no time to waste, George knocked before he could change his mind. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door.

"Well hello headmaster!" Sprout welcomed, "What did I do to deserve your company at this hour?"

"Uhem…*cough*..." George said testing his voice, "Good morning Pomona. Might I come inside?"

"Why certainly Albus!" Sprout said and extended her arm to welcome George into her quarters.

Testing the waters, George took a seat and gestured for Sprout to do the same. As the professor took a seat on her own couch, George reached into his pocket for a lemon drop.

"Would you like one?" George offered.

Sprout refused kindly and didn't seem surprised that "Dumbledore" plopped a candy into his own mouth.

 _Good call on the lemon drops Finnegan_ , George smirked internally.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here," George said quickly when he realized that no one had spoken for a minute. At Sprout's nod, he continued, "You see, I've been having trouble with the Board of Governors…."

Sprout- surprisingly to George- seemed to expect this conversation and nodded for him to continue.

"They want to replace the teachers that I've seen fit to hire. The Quirrell incident has only made this situation worse, as they believe I hired him out of trust. Of course they ignore the fact that I just couldn't find anyone else for the job," George added, convincingly bitter.

"What do you suppose we do headmaster?" Sprout asked, complete trust in her gaze.

George cringed at the pain he was putting his most kind professor through. "The board has suggested that you, Minerva, Severus, and Filius take a leave of absence for one week while they test-run some new professors."

Sprout blinked. "That's rather odd… One week? Really?"

George realized that this situation was all too fishy to be believable, however he continued on, hoping that Sprout would just take his word for it.

"Yes, just one week," he reiterated.

"But- but Albus, how can they do this? Exams are in a few weeks! The children need us right now!" Sprout exclaimed. George was touched at how caring she was for her students. It was just like Sprout to put her kids before her job.

"Yes I realize that Pomona. It's a rather difficult situation. However, I believe that I can resolve it. Just tell the other professors. Go home, come back in a week with the others and hopefully I will have straightened things out by then," George reassured her.

"Well… alright. If you're sure…" Sprout hesitantly said.

George nodded and stood up. He walked towards the door and his professor followed.

"Thank you for stopping by Albus, I'll go tell the others. I'll see you in a week," Sprout said while closing the door.

George was unsure whether to jump for joy or pout at the terrible act he had just done. It was hard to break that kind of news to his professor. However, he and his brother agreed that telling Sprout was the best course of action since McGonagall, Snape, and Flitwick were more likely to catch them in the act.

However, with his task done, George let out the groan that had been threatening to escape him since he transformed into Dumbledore. He made it to the bathroom where he sat and waited for his brother to come back.

~.~

"YOU FIRED THEM?!" Madam Pomfrey shrieked.

Fred took a step back at the force behind her voice. He knew that Pomfrey was a strict witch, but never knew how scary she could be. He made a mental note to never cross her.

"Minister, I have to object to this," Charity Burbage exclaimed. "It's entirely uncalled for and exams are in a few weeks! The children need those professors!"

Fred didn't say anything and the entire Hogwarts staff- minus McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, and Sprout- stared at him expectantly. _Glared_ at him expectantly.

Finally realizing who he was portraying, Fred pushed a little harder, "I must do what I and the Board of Governors see fit!" he said pompously. "Quirrell was obviously a nutcase and I cannot stand by and allow professors that Dumbledore trusts the most to continue teaching in this school!"

Fred turned on his heal and made his way to the door hoping to make a quick escape.

"F**k you, Fudge!" Sinistra yelled.

Fred was momentarily stunned, as was everyone else in the room. Although Fred was tempted to high-five his astronomy professor, he played along. He turned back around and tried to talk as though every syllable burned his tongue, "You watch your mouth Sinistra. I am going to find suitable replacements for the other professors by tomorrow. I should hope that you don't want to be replaced either…. You've been warned."

With that, Fred turned once more and stormed out of the staff lounge, leaving behind a group of very stunned professors.

~.~

"Mission success?" George asked in anticipation.

"Yes!" Fred yelled in excitement.

George jumped up from his seat on the floor and ran to his brother. They had just transformed back and their overly large clothes caused them both to trip and land in a bundle on the stone floor.

Laughing merrily, they wrestled on the ground for a minute.

"Ehem," Myrtle coughed daintily.

Fred ignored this and hopped up from the ground. "Good job Myrtle! We did it!"

He raised his hand and gave Myrtle a high-five which of course went straight through her.

"Okay okay, now we need to send letters to the "replacement" professors," George reminded his brother. "I've already started writing them. Now who did we decide was teaching each subject?"

Fred counted with his fingers, "I think it was Augusta Longbottom for transfiguration, Tonks for potions, Ludo Bagman for charms, and Mundungus Fletcher for herbology."

"Right… but they don't seem like the kind of people that Fudge would hire," George pointed out.

"It doesn't matter at this point. It's just funny," Fred concluded.

George grinned and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess that's true."

The twins were finished writing the letters by noon. They cleaned up the remains of the potion and banished the clothes that they used to impersonate Dumbledore and Fudge.

"Well, I guess this is it," George addressed Myrtle and Fred. "Our part in this prank war is over. Now we just need to sit and watch the magic happen."

Fred smiled, "Let's go mail these letters," he turned to the ghost, "We promise to come visit you regularly Myrtle. Thanks for all your help!"

The ghost's cheeks became more opaque. George took that to mean she was blushing. He patted his brother on the back and the two made their way up to the owlery.

~.~

~.~


	15. Chapter 15

Monday morning was Professor Dumbledore's favorite time of the week. It was just so amusing to show up to the Great Hall all cheery and smiling while the majority of the professors and students were sleepy-eyed and grouchy. Severus often complained about his peppiness and even refused to talk to him some mornings. It was all the better to Dumbledore, as it gave him more incentive to annoy everyone else.

Making his weekly jaunt into the hall, Dumbledore stopped in his tracks. Sitting at the head table was none other than Augusta, Nymphadora, Mundungus, and Ludo. Some students stared at him questioningly, assuming that he knew why these four strangers had taken the places of their original professors. Before anyone could deduce that he had no idea what was going on, he placed a phony smile upon his face and continued walking to the table.

As he took his seat in the center, he smiled to the newcomers as though he knew why they were there and turned to Professor Sinistra.

"Aurora, do you know what's going on?" he asked, a touch hysterically.

"Headmaster, this may come as a terrible surprise to you, but Minister Fudge showed up yesterday and fired the four heads of house, apparently on orders of the Board of Governors," the woman said sadly, "Fudge claims they don't trust the teachers you hired because of your poor judgement in choosing to hire Quirrell."

The man paused for a moment. Sinistra wasn't sure if it was to collect his thoughts or to pull himself together from the shock. Whatever flicker of weakness she saw in him only lasted a fraction of a second.

"I didn't think Fudge would have the balls to do something like this," Dumbledore said, steely-eyed. After a moment of contemplation his face, he seemed to realize what he had just said. "Oh, excuse me Aurora, I didn't mean-"

"-Albus really, it's okay, you can-"

"No worries," Dumbledore cut her off and resumed being his chipper self, "The school year is almost over. I can sort this out once the students are let out for summer."

Dumbledore filled his plate and began eating. Sinistra went back to her own food and the students eventually stopped glancing at the staff table curiously.

Fred, George, Seamus, and Harry all exchanged quick smirks.

~.~

"Can you believe that Fudge would just fire them like that?" Ron wondered in disbelief. "It's mad! Now I won't get good marks on my exams!" he complained.

"I'm not all that sure you would've gotten good marks if our real professors were still here," Hermione said bossily.

Harry smiled at his friends' bickering. He tuned them out as they made their way down the front lawn. It was a sunny day. A good day to have herbology. Harry couldn't be any happier. He got to spend a sunny day outside, with a teacher who was obviously not qualified to be teaching. This was going to be entertaining.

Just as they were settling around the planters with the Hufflepuffs, whispers broke out. Their new professor, Mundungus Fletcher, walked in with Dumbledore. Harry noted that the old man seemed strained. For a moment Harry felt guilt ridden at having assisted in his mentor's suffering. However, his guilt was overcome by his curiosity to see how things played out.

"Good morning students," Dumbledore addressed everyone, "Don't mind me, I will just be observing your new teacher, Professor Fletcher, here today."

At Dumbledore's nod, Mundungus began. "Hello children! My name's Mundungus, no need for this 'Professor' stuff. Anyways, I know it's a bit above your year level, but I was thinking of teaching you all about Venomous Tentacula today!"

Everyone glanced around in confusion. Hermione was the only student to recognize the name. She looked on in horror and turned around to find Dumbledore's eyes. Harry saw that the old man just waved down her arising complaints and gestured for her to turn around and pay attention. Hermione turned back around, but Harry's stare lingered on Dumbledore for a second longer. The headmaster was shaking his head in disbelief. Harry almost laughed out loud. Whatever a venomous tentacle-thing was, it was probably not good.

Ten minutes later and Harry could have sworn at himself. _Not good, NOT GOOD?!_ That was such an understatement. The second that Mundungus led them into the room with the Venomous Tentacula, the plants started flailing around, attempting to grab students. They were green and spiky, they almost seemed to have teeth. Luckily Harry was fast enough to dodge their shots of venom that squirted out from their shoots constantly. However, most students weren't lucky. Neville, of course, was among the first to be injured.

"I won't be mad if you swear at 'em!" Mundungus yelled over the chaos. "They're 10 galleons a leaf. So there's a plus side!"

Dumbledore moved towards Hermione. "Would you assist me in using the severing charm?"

Harry was impressed that Hermione seemed to know just what he was talking about. The two moved around quickly and precisely. They wounded the plants just enough to prohibit them from hurting anyone else, but not enough to destroy them altogether. By this time all the students had cleared out. The only ones left in the room were him, Dumbledore, Hermione, and Mundungus.

Once the job was done and Dumbledore had instructed the students to go to the hospital wing, Harry saw how worn out he was. Dumbledore just looked tired. He walked over to Mundungus and started reprimanding him. He was whispering of course. Dumbledore hardly raised his voice. Mundungus just looked sheepish. Harry was a bit amused at the scene.

 _It's only first period_ , Harry said to himself in shock. He grabbed Hermione's hand and walked her out of the greenhouse.

~.~

By lunchtime, every student in the school was whispering about the supposed firing of their professors. As Fred and George passed by the other tables in the Great Hall, they could hear the results of their doing.

"Did you hear what happened to Suzie Maybean?" one Ravenclaw 3rd year said to another. "That horrible Longbottom lady transfigured her into a camel!"

Fred and George nearly fell over. They sat down at the Gryffindor table where they could hear the rest of their conversation.

"That's not all," the Ravenclaw girl continued, "Dumbledore was in the class at the time. When he tried to change Suzie back, Professor Longbottom turned his hair color into a light brown and then completely hacked off his beard! She didn't do it with magic either, she just had a knife or something up her sleeve. It's going to be more difficult to grow that back. Dumbledore will probably need a potion."

The twins laughed out loud at this. The Ravenclaws looked over at them and leaned over, gesturing for the boys to listen.

"The worst part is," the girl revealed, "Professor Longbottom began _flirting_ with Dumbledore! She kept calling him 'cauldron cake' or 'lemon drop'. It was completely disgusting!"

George's pumpkin juice nearly sprayed out of his nose. He was _not_ expecting that. Fred thumped his fist down on the table a few times in an effort to swallow his food without choking. The Ravenclaws grinned at them and went back to their own food. The twins looked at one another with tears of joy in their eyes.

As if on cue, Dumbledore walked into the hall. A collective gasp could be heard throughout. Dumbledore blushed as everyone began pointing at his newly shaven face.

The headmaster sheepishly walked to his place at the head table. The room erupted in laughter when Augusta Longbottom blew him a kiss. Neville was mortified at his grandmother's actions.

At this point Fred and George were rolling on the ground.

 _This prank was SO worth it_ , George said to himself.

~.~

Fred and George walked into the potions classroom. For the first time since coming to Hogwarts, most of the students didn't fear entering the dungeons. They took their seats at the front of the classroom and waited. George heard many of his housemates, and even some Slytherins, sighing in relief as Tonks walked through the door.

"Good morning everyone!" Tonks cheerfully announced, "My name is Tonks, and you're probably wondering why a person as young as me is teaching you. I'm wondering that myself. However, when Fudge sent me a letter asking me to teach you guys until the end of the school year, of course I couldn't pass up that opportunity!"

Fred and George snickered behind their cauldrons.

Tonks continued, "I even recognize a few of you, I graduated last year for those of you that don't know. So this should be a fun experience for me and you. I get to see what it's like on the other side and you guys get to see what it's like with a new professor."

At this she winked. All of the Gryffindors smiled in glee, the Slytherins looked torn between being offended and grateful.

"Well let's continue shall we?" Tonks carried on while walking through the aisles, "Today I wanted to get you all started on- OOF!"

George leaned over in his seat to see Tonks sprawled out on the ground. She had clearly just tripped over his bag.

"Umm Tonks, are you okay?" he asked.

Noticeably embarrassed, Tonks stood up "Uh, yeah yeah I'm fine," she said while brushing off her robes. She blushed as some students began to snicker.

"Umm anyways, today I'd like you all to brew the Confusing Concoction. Instructions are on the board," Tonks waved her wand and writing began to appear, "You may begin."

The rest of the period went as planned. Tonks didn't trip again and the students seemed to like her alright. Fred and George agreed later on that choosing Tonks as a replacement professor was a good idea. It didn't create the mayhem that they had planned, but at least they could do something nice for their friend who was good to them during their first two years at Hogwarts.

All of the students left the class in a good mood.

~.~

That Friday at lunch, Dumbledore and Ludo Bagman walked into the Great Hall. The students moved their heads as the two passed them on the way to the head table. They were clearly bickering about something. The only words that George could capture from their conversation when they walked by was something about tap dancing.

"I wonder what that's all about," George queried aloud.

"Bagman doesn't know how to teach charms. All he does is make things tap dance," Harry said as he sat down next to the twins.

"Harry! How could you say such a thing! He's our professor. Surely Minister Fudge would have chosen a qualified wizard for the position," Hermione rebuked haughtily.

Fred and George snickered in retaliation. Harry joined in. Ron looked confused and Hermione looked offended.

"Hmph!" the bushy-haired girl retorted. She stood up and walked over to the quiet end of the table where she sat down and pulled out a book to read. The boys rolled their eyes.

A few minutes later when everyone was settled down the doors to the hall opened. Eyebrows raised as people caught sight of who the newcomers were. Fred, George, Harry, and Seamus shifted in their seats to get a good view of the show that was about to begin.

Dumbledore's mouth hung open, his voice rang across the hall and spoke for everyone by saying "Minerva, what are you all doing back here?"

The four professors looked up at him, confused. "You told me to come back in a week," Sprout answered.

Dumbledore paused and his eyes narrowed, "I don't believe I ever spoke to you Pomona, I only recall missing your company Monday morning and being _very_ surprised to see these four people taking your places," he gestured to the replacements.

"Headmaster, you told us that the Board of Governors wanted us to take a leave of absence for a week," Flitwick chimed in.

"No, Fudge fired you!" Sinistra exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" the four original professors yelled in unison.

"Wait just a moment," Dumbledore said raising his hand for silence. "I don't remember telling you to leave for a week. The board has not contacted me in months. Yes, Fudge talked about the possibility of replacements, but he hasn't said a word to me recently."

The staff members now stood in front of the head table, disheveled and carrying luggage. The new professors sat with their mouths hanging open. The students hung onto their every word.

Silence filled the hall and Fred and George glanced at one another. Fred gave George a nod that said " _It's time."_

As though finishing the end of a play, the boys stood up on the bench and yelled simultaneously, "WE GOT YOU GOOD ALBUS!" before taking a great, big bow.

 **Author Note:** Sorry to leave you guys on a cliff hanger! The next chapter is going to be the last one. I've had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope that you had fun reading it!

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	16. Chapter 16

As though finishing the end of a play, the boys stood up on the bench and yelled simultaneously, "WE GOT YOU GOOD ALBUS!" before taking a great, big bow.

Everyone's heads turned toward the twins. Most of their eyes held confusion. Dumbledore looked their way and stood dumbstruck. Some form of understanding filled his eyes and he moved into action.

"You eight, follow me," Dumbledore said while gesturing to the replacement and original professors.

They all walked down the center aisle way and as they neared the twins, Dumbledore motioned for them to stand up and follow him.

"Sorry to interrupt everyone, go back to eating," Dumbledore commanded. It was futile however, as nearly every student in the hall was eager to talk about what just took place.

The twins noticed that Dumbledore looked furious. Nevertheless, it only showed as a mark of their success and they couldn't help but bump fists discreetly.

"Explain," Dumbledore instructed as the party settled down in his office.

It was slightly intimidating as Dumbledore sat behind his desk, the twins in the chairs opposite of him, and the 8 teachers standing around them. However, the boys began their tale.

They talked of how it seemed impossible to even lay a finger on Dumbledore let alone prank him. They mentioned how they were fortunate enough to turn Seamus over to their side and gain information on the inside, especially the part about the map. They even cleared Harry's name by explaining that they were really the ones to steal the ingredients from Snape's stores. The boys had enough sense to scooch away from Snape as they said this. He looked positively furious.

"So you see, once we finished making the polyjuice potion and got the hairs from you and Fudge, we transformed into you guys," George said proudly. "I became you, sir, and was the one to tell Professor Sprout that she and the other professors needed to take a week off."

"I became Fudge and told the rest of the staff that I fired them," Fred added.

"After that it was simple really, we just needed to send letters off to the new professors and then watch the magic happen," George concluded.

The room came to a screeching silence when they finished speaking. For a few moments no one said anything.

"Headmaster, what do you plan on doing to these boys that will result in a just punishment?" Snape asked. "They snuck into your office, stole your property, _attacked the minister_ , stole from ME, practically framed Harry Potter, brewed an illegal potion, impersonated you and the minister, hired new professors, completely ruined a week worth of education for all the students, and put strain on everyone in the process!"

"You forgot to say that we broke curfew a handful of times," Fred supplied.

George snorted, it looked like Tonks did too. Dumbledore released a long sigh and closed his eyes.

"Well?" Snape spat. "What are you going to do with them?"

All of the professors waited in anticipation. The twins were beyond caring at this point, their job was completed.

After a moment Dumbledore spoke, "I apologize- Tonks, Ludo, Augusta, and Mundungus- I'm sure the boys didn't mean to drag you into this. Clearly they saw something good in every one of you to have chosen you as pawns in their prank. That being said, I'm afraid I'm going to have to dismiss you from the staff."

The four nodded and began to walk out of the office. Tonks shot a wink at the twins and they grinned in return. Augusta smacked the back of their heads. They sheepishly rubbed the spots where she hit.

"As for my most trusted professors, I'm glad to have you back. I think I can handle the boys from here, you may go," Dumbledore said.

George saw that Snape looked slightly disappointed in not having anything to do with their punishment. The other professors walked out without a word. However, George could have sworn that he saw McGonagall smirk.

"Now my boys", Dumbledore began "what you did was extremely irresponsible and illegal... you technically should be expelled for something like this and at the very least you will get detention every week for the first two months of school next year," he paused, the door had shut and they were alone, and the twinkle in his eyes finally reappeared. "With that being said," he continued, "I am very proud of you boys. Which is why I am instead giving you this." Dumbledore then reached behind his desk and brought out the marauders map. "How did you fellows put it? You sure did 'get me good'." The old man lowered the seemingly old piece of parchment into the hands of the twins whose eyes became as round as plates. "Use it well".

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 **Author Note:** Thanks to all of those who read this far! I had a lot of fun writing this. Since it's my first story I decided to start off with Fred and George as my main characters because sadly they're minor characters in the series and I felt like I could put my own spin on them without being pegged as writing them OOC. However, I also chose to wrote about them because they are totally awesome :D. Anyways, I hope you liked my very first fan fic! Give me feed back pleaseeee!


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